


Chatting With the Voices In My Head

by ImperialKatwala



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: And also the voices in his head, Bees, Fluff, Gen, Soft Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Techno gets a nice relaxing day with his animals, Turtles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28231359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialKatwala/pseuds/ImperialKatwala
Summary: Technoblade moved north to become a pacifist. Technoblade constantly hears voices that demand blood. This is a look at how those two statements can coexist, and how they can change.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), technoblade & chat
Comments: 57
Kudos: 390





	Chatting With the Voices In My Head

Techno woke to the sound of thousands of voices screaming, pounding against the inside of his skull.

_BLOOD,_ they screamed, _Bored - wake up - blood - DEATH - blood for the blood god - Carl? - plan for today - blood_

A quick glance out the window confirmed that the sun was only barely beginning to rise. Techno groaned and buried his head under his pillow (it didn't do anything; the voices were in his head, after all, nothing he did made them quieter. He knew that. But the petty gesture made him feel better). "Shut up, it's too early for this."

_WAKE UP - don't go back to sleep - BORED - Technolate - wake up,_ they wailed.

"I am not late for anythin', the sun's not even up yet!"

They were persistent. _Plan for today? - Phil - wake up - WAKE UP - kill_

Techno stayed in bed for a few more rebellious seconds, then sighed and reluctantly got up.

The voices (Techno called them the Chatter, Chat for short) were pleased by this, and the steady stream of noise grew slightly quieter as they waited for him to talk to them.

He and Chat had come to an unspoken agreement over the years. They were trapped in his head; they ostensibly saw only what Techno saw (though he had his suspicions, since they had a lot of knowledge Techno did not have access to, like other people's locations), and they got bored quickly. So Techno talked to them, followed the occasional suggestion, kept them entertained, and in return they stayed mostly civil.

Mostly.

"Nice chill day today, Chat," Techno hummed as he pulled on his blue tunic and mantle. "Nothin' crazy. I made a to-do list, we can go check that out in a minute."

_Phil - bees - Toby? - Carl - kill - talk to Phil - turtles - netherite - bee farm,_ Chat said excitedly.

Techno climbed down the ladder to the main level of his cozy little retirement house. Retirement made dealing with Chat both much easier and much harder. On one hand, he was able to talk out loud to them as much as he wanted without getting any weird looks, which made them happy. On the other...

_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD,_ a small section of Chat howled. _BLOOD - KILL - DEATH - BLOOD_

"I'm retired," Techno reminded them tiredly for what felt like the millionth time. He had to say it at _least_ once a day, so if it felt like a bit of a mantra at this point... well, maybe it was. "I'm a changed man. I'm gonna be a good person."

Chat split, as they often did, with half encouraging him and half deriding him.

He ignored them and carefully coaxed the embers in the fireplace back to life. He liked the cold, but the early morning chill hadn't left the air yet, and he wanted a warm breakfast.

_To-do list - list - what's the plan? - show us the list,_ Chat reminded him.

Techno sighed, but he set a few small logs in the fireplace and left them to catch, heading over to the chest where he had left his notebook.

"Alright, here's the to-do list," he told Chat, who murmured in curiosity and excitement. "One, we check on the bees. Two, we check on the turtles. Three, we check on Carl. Four, we need to run some errands in the village. Five, Phil's comin' over for dinner. We can fill in gaps as necessary."

Chat seemed satisfied with that, so Techno put the notebook in his inventory and headed back to the fireplace. It was crackling merrily now, and he was able to very quickly put together a breakfast of eggs and toast.

_Cringe breakfast - drink water - ooh, yum - golden carrots - beef,_ Chat suggested.

"Shut up and let me eat, Chat."

That was one of the more irritating things about Chat: they had an opinion on _everything._ Often, they had many contradicting opinions on absolutely everything Techno did (except killing, but he wasn't going to think about that).

_Rude - pay attention to us - blood - hurry up - that's mean_

Techno steadfastly ignored them, eating his breakfast at a reasonable pace. He wasn't going to hurry just because Chat wanted him to.

They grumbled about that, of course, but then one of them started saying _E,_ and Chat happily got distracted repeating the letter over and over again.

Irritating, but familiar and easier to block out.

After he finished eating, Techno started preparing for his time out in the snow. He added more wood to the fire, then closed the grate on the fireplace so his house wouldn't burn down while he was gone, pulled on some mittens, and left his crown in his inventory in favor of a warm hat (Phil had given it to him the first time he came to visit, with a gentle admonition about taking care of himself).

"Okay, Chat, let's check on the bees," Techno hummed, stepping out onto the porch and latching the door behind him. "Phil's been upgradin' the bee house and makin' sure they're comfortable, so hopefully we don't need to do much with them."

_Bees - Tubbo - bee house - friend shaped - kill - cute bees - Dadza,_ Chat commented.

The bee house was, in Techno's opinion, a fantastic addition to his retirement house. Phil had done a great job making it match the aesthetic of the cottage, and it never hurt to have honey on hand. Plus the bees were just really cute.

First, the honey production. Techno checked the chest on one side of the little building and was pleased to see a lot of honey bottles stacked inside.

Next, the bees themselves. "Hey, guys," Techno greeted them, resting a hand against the glass panel on the front of the bee house. He took a moment to take in the soft, peaceful buzzing, and watched the bees fly around the flowers Phil had planted.

A tiny baby bee bumped into the glass where Techno's palm was, seemed to stagger a bit in the air as it reoriented, then meandered over to one of the flowers. Techno's heart _melted._

_AWWWWW,_ Chat cooed, almost in unison.

"Oh, he's so _tiny,_ Chat, look at him," Techno breathed.

_We're looking - precious - Techno's SOFT - little baby - so cute,_ they agreed.

Techno watched the bees for a few more minutes, commenting occasionally to Chat, but mostly enjoying the calm. Moments like this made him glad he'd retired.

Eventually, though, he stepped away, taking out his list again. "Okay, the bees seem to be doin' fine. The turtles are next."

_Turtles! - Phil - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD - scutes - blood - Turtle Master potions? - pet the turtles_

" _Retired,_ " he reminded them, starting the trek out to the turtle farm.

_Why?_ Chat demanded. _Why? - Turtle Master - kill - why scutes? - resistance - why else?_

"... It never hurts to be prepared," Techno admitted quietly, bracing for the excited storm of bloodlust. "Chat, calm down, this is _just in case,_ I plan on havin' a nice, long, relaxin' retirement."

_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD - YES KILL - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD - BLOOD - DEATH - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD_

"... Aaand you're all just screamin'. Fantastic." Techno ignored the familiar sensation prickling in his fingers and in his brain ( _he had a sword he could use it he_ should _use it blood for the blood god_ ) and opened the gate to the turtle farm so he could step inside, closing it carefully behind him.

The turtles glanced up at him, blinking, before going back to what they were doing. A few shuffled toward him in greeting, and Toby gently bumped his head against Techno's leg.

Techno took a deep breath, letting the urge to _stab something_ dissipate and focusing on his turtles. He knelt down and ran a careful hand along Toby's shell. "Hey, Toby. Everythin' okay over here? You keepin' an eye on the others for me?"

A slow blink and another headbutt was Toby's only response.

Techno nodded like Toby had said something profound. "Good to hear, good to hear. Hey, I brought somethin' for you." He held out a handful of sea grass, and Toby began happily munching on it as the other turtles began shuffling over, hopeful for food. Techno chuckled and started carefully stepping around the turtles, handing them grass, gently petting heads and shells, murmuring a greeting or a question to each one.

Slowly, other words began to filter through Chat's screeching for blood. _Cute - turtles - pet the turtles - aww - Technosoft - Toby_

One of the newly-hatched babies crawled onto Techno's boot and looked up at him, blinking innocently.

_DON'T MOVE,_ a good portion of Chat demanded at once.

"I think I'm legally not allowed to, Chat. You don't move when there's a baby animal on you, you just don't." Techno carefully knelt down, trying not to disturb the tiny turtle, and ran a gentle finger along its shell. "Hey there."

The turtle nibbled on his boot lace.

Techno chuckled and took out a few strands of sea grass. "Is this what you're lookin' for? You hungry?"

With a little wiggle of excitement, the baby turtle started trying to scrabble over to the food. It couldn't quite get purchase on Techno's boots, though.

_AWWW - baby - precious - FEED HIM - so tiny,_ Chat declared.

Techno carefully fed the baby one blade of grass at a time. It munched them up at an impressive rate, but the grass was still really large in comparison, so it took a while. Techno didn't mind, though, and it seemed Chat didn't either, because when he finally helped the baby turtle back onto the ground and turned to leave, they immediately started protesting.

"Chat, I'm _meltin',_ " Techno sighed, stepping gingerly around turtles as he made his way back to the small gate. "This place is designed to keep the turtles warm, and I'm over here in my full winter gear."

_Wimp - weak - oh no - can't be that bad - L,_ Chat mocked.

Techno closed the gate behind him, groaning. "Chat, please."

_L,_ they chanted with vicious glee.

"Item three on the to-do list," Techno hummed, ignoring Chat and taking out his notebook. "Check on Carl."

Instantly, some of Chat began excitedly chanting Carl's name instead of L. A slight improvement.

Techno did one last scan of the perimeter of his turtle farm, making sure there was no danger to the turtles, then began the walk back to his cabin. "I don't know why you guys love him so much, but I'm not complainin'."

_Carl - take care of Carl - treats! - good horse - Carl_

Carl nickered softly as Techno rounded the corner of his house.

"Hey, Carl," Techno murmured, gently petting Carl's nose. "You doin' okay out here by yourself?"

Carl's tail flicked, and he started nosing at Techno's mantle, hunting for food.

Techno laughed. "Alright, alright, calm down."

First things first, actual food. Carl had eaten almost all of his wheat, so Techno gave him another armful and refilled his water barrel. But then, of course, with Chat's encouragement, he gave Carl an apple, too.

"I can't do this all the time," he reminded Carl gently, "because too many aren't good for you, but a few is fine."

Carl just munched happily on his apple.

Techno smiled, going through the familiar motions of getting Carl saddled and ready for a short trip.

_Village - errands? - trade - neighbors - grab your emeralds,_ Chat hummed.

"I have my Ender chest, Chat, we're fine." Techno double-checked the saddle's straps, then led Carl out of his pen.

Carl pranced a little, eager to be off.

Well, he was never good at saying no to animals. Techno quickly swung up into the saddle and patted Carl's neck. "Ready to run?"

That was all the encouragement Carl needed. He snorted and started to gallop.

Carl, like all of Techno's horses, was bred to be fast. He was also a very smart horse, very stubborn, and loved running, especially after the abrupt transition from a life of action to a life of pacifism. This was their routine: whenever Techno needed to go to the village, he used it as an excuse to let Carl stretch his legs. He was an experienced rider, so he would let Carl run as much as he wanted as long as he didn't hurt himself, which usually meant they galloped there and back again. Techno didn't mind, since that meant less travel time for him, and it also meant Carl was happy.

The villagers, long used to Techno's energetic arrivals in town, waved to him as he reined Carl in and walked him to a convenient fence post. Techno gave them a small wave back. They were nice people, for the most part, and though he didn't really enjoy interacting with people (Phil was an exception), trading with them wasn't too bad. He usually didn't even have to say anything; the craftsman or farmer in question would show him what they had, name a price for whatever he pointed to, and accept payment gladly, without asking awkward questions. He liked that.

"Stay here and be good, alright?" Techno murmured to Carl, tying him to the fence post. "I'll be right back."

Chat, of course, immediately began suggesting items to purchase. _Golden carrots - stew - buy arrows!! - Unbreaking III - armor? - more emeralds - beef - books - quartz - Mending_

Techno ignored them (he was in public now, he had to remember that, don't talk to Chat in public) and took out his notebook, flipping to the page after his to-do list. He needed golden carrots, potatoes, wool, eggs, and some of that rabbit stew Phil liked. Easy enough. Nothing out of the ordinary.

He quickly made his rounds through the village. Techno was a regular at most of these shops, especially at the farmer's stall, so he only had to nod when asked if he wanted his usual supplies. Then, as they packed up what he wanted, the villagers rambled about how their business was going, or hummed a little tune, or even stayed silent, never once asking for or expecting a reply. That suited Techno just fine, and he gave them grateful nods along with his emeralds when they handed him boxes of goods and told him to stay safe out there.

When he had everything on his list, Techno made his way back over to Carl and untied him. "Ready to go home?"

Carl stamped a hoof, obviously impatient to go. Techno shook his head fondly, got back into the saddle, and Carl was off like a shot.

When they reached the house again, Techno turned Carl on impulse, letting him circle around the cottage so he could run just a little longer. Then he carefully led Carl back to his pen, took the saddle off, and started brushing him down.

_Aww - Technosoft - blood - more apples,_ Chat murmured.

"No more apples, I've already told you I can't give him too many," Techno corrected them.

_More apples! - give him apples - treats for Carl,_ they whined.

"I'll give him another one tomorrow, Chat. One apple a day, we've discussed this."

_He's been a good boy - E - Apple a day keeps the doctor away - MORE APPLES - mean,_ Chat wailed.

Carl nudged Techno with his nose, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.

Techno felt his willpower crumble and sighed, taking out another apple. "This will _not_ be a regular occurrence, you hear me? Carl needs to not eat a lot of treats if he's gonna stay healthy. You're a horrible influence, Chat."

_More apples,_ they said happily, absolutely not sorry at all for their actions. _Good boy Carl - he's earned it - apples for Carl_

Carl ate his treat while Techno finished brushing him, then draped a heated blanket over his back. It got very cold at night this far north, and Carl needed some insulation.

Techno latched the gate to Carl's pen behind him and glanced up at the sky. The sun was just starting to brush the tops of the trees; it would be getting dark soon.

His communicator buzzed.

[Ph1LzA]: _I just reached the turtle farm, be there soon_

_DADZA!_ Chat shrieked. _Phil's coming pog!! - PHIL - Dadza - yay Phil - Killza - Dad's here!_

"I told you guys this mornin' that he was comin' over for dinner," Techno sighed, but there was a smile on his face.

Chat just kept repeating Phil's name excitedly. If they'd had a physical form, Techno figured they would probably be vibrating.

He turned toward the turtle farm and saw Phil cresting the hill, waving. Techno waved back, grinning despite himself.

"Hello, Techno!" Phil called as soon as he was within earshot.

"Welcome back, Phil!" Techno returned. "How was the trip here?"

Phil chuckled. "Oh, the same as usual. How was your day? Have the voices been giving you trouble?"

"No, they've been pretty well-behaved today. Only had one trouble spot." _Thank you,_ Techno added in his head, prompting a surge of _you're welcome_ s and _E_ s. "I mostly just checked on the animals and ran errands today. The turtles and the bees are doin' well."

"Good, good. There's one more efficiency modification I'd like to make on the bee farm, but that can wait until after dinner."

Techno nodded and ushered Phil inside.

It was a simple meal - just rabbit stew and a loaf of bread Phil had brought - eaten at a small, slightly rickety table that was really only made for one person, but something about sitting down with Phil and sharing dinner, just being able to relax around someone he trusted, warmed Techno down to his core. He could _breathe_ here, in this little space in the north that he'd created for himself. A space where he was free to be who he was, to take care of turtles and laugh with an old friend and talk to the voices in his head without being judged for any of it.

Retirement, he decided as Phil laughed at one of his jokes, had been the best decision of his life.


End file.
